Videos hosted by Michael Erlewine

Pay attention to yourself is always good advice. Well, I don't really mean your "Self" self, but rather pay attention to your intuition, that little voice somewhere inside you. And it is way more subtle than that "nag" voice that our so-called "self" whispers in our ear with words like "Look at that huge nose," etc. I am talking about the intuition that seldom is anything more than a whisper and usually is not even that loud. Unfortunately, it has taken me most of a lifetime to learn to listen to what I am pointing at here, yet the future has always depended on it, i.e. that's part of the karma factor.

And this is not a sometimes-thing but, at least for me, is available all the time, 24x7. And I imagine this is true for all of us. Let's see if I can describe it so that you can identify in yourself what I am talking about here. As mentioned, I've already ruled out my Chatty Cathy Self, so let's not dwell on that. And I have pointed out that this, let's call it "intuition," never talks above a whisper, and it's even quieter than that. In my case, Probably because I am hard-of-hearing when it comes to following my intuition, in my case it is more like the tiniest nudge, about a nanosecond long, and if I blink it was never there at all. That being said, as I mentioned before, it literally controls the best part of my future.

Yet I know this intuition is broadcasting all day long, but I tend to be aware of it mostly when I am writing like this or doing some piece of graphic or video work, anything that requires a decision or fork in the road. Should I go this way or that way? If I go the "wrong" way, take the wrong fork in the road, that is when I feel it. If I consider my whole life, then mostly I have ignored this little nudge up until recentrly, although I acknowledge that it has always been there.

It is a little bit like a conscience. Anyway, when I make the wrong decision or move, that's when I feel it, almost like a micro-disappointment. I zigged when I should have zagged, ever-so-slightly made the wrong move, and suddenly got the tiniest bit heavier with karma I don't need. Or perhaps I did something and instead of the action being clear, there is this little cloud hanging over it, nagging at me to reconsider. Perhaps I made a mistake, etc. Now do you know what I'm talking about?

And the stupid part is that I tend to ignore it, if only because it is contrary to what I just decided and I hate having things like mistakes I make pointed out to me, especially by a contrarian. So, for years my response has been to double-down on the wrong decision and kind of whistle in defiance as I saunter off down the wrong road. Yet, at that same moment, doubt has entered my mind. No, not some giant doubt, but just the tiniest ping, the kind of almost imperceptible feeling that happens when my back goes out.

Now, with all that being said, I'm telling you that in the last number of years I have begun not only to hear this subtle whispering, but to actually take its advice and walk back whatever decision I just made that was (according to this inner oracle) the wrong one. At first it was kind of a big thing, but later it came more easily, kind of like when my wife tells me to do something a certain way and I don't listen. It is much easier to just listen.

I can remember when Margaret (my wife) and I had a big confrontation over our house. I was pointing out to her that the house and how it is run is as much mine as hers and that I should get 50% say on how it is run. Well, she gave me the stink-eye and said that if I wanted to be as responsible for it as she is, and do a lot more than I do around the house, that would be fine. Otherwise, I could just shut up and get out of the way.

Well, it took me all of about two-seconds to realize I had no interest in most of these decisions and was in way over my head. It was a "Fish or cut bait" kind of moment, and I recognized that cutting bait is most what I wanted to do. Anyway, I lost that argument in a micro-second, shut up, and got out of the way. That did not take any intuition whatsoever on my part, but I digress.

The point of this story is that I have, at long last, learned to listen to the very subtle voice of intuition more and more of the time. It is like having my own Magic 8-Ball oracle built into my own consciousness. And I write about this to see whether any of you reading this have found this to be true for you as well. Can you hear that inner voice and, if you can, do you follow it? And is it reliable? As for me, I can almost put my conscience on auto-pilot. And the whisper-oracle is always right.